PDF Ebook Neckbeard Vampire: Nightbeard Rising: Euphoric satirical fiction and vampire humor romance, by D.S. Morg
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Short, fat, and gifted with a euphorically high libido, Paxton’s very existence is an affront to God and the other students of Rayhollow High…that is until he meets Dasha, the stunning Japanese exchange student who not only meets each of his disproportionately high standards for a partner, but also genuinely seems to like him! So what if she floats through the hallways and only comes out in the dark, you can’t judge a girl by the size of her canines…can you?
But as zit-riddled neckbeards overrun the town in startling numbers and Paxton falls deeper into the friend zone, his best friend Chad calls on the help of loyal friends, Renaissance Faire aficionados, and a tall, mysterious stranger who wears a fedora and wields the sword of the Samurai.
With a little help from the red pill, this euphoric guild embarks on a five point adventure to woo this waifu into submission…hentai style! But when Furry betrayal reaches their ranks, the guild starts to unravel and only the Gentlest of Sirs can deliver salvation…
The critics are raving about Neckbeard Vampire!
“It’s a Mountain Dew of Euphoria!”
“Neckbeard Vampire is all that and a bag of Cool Ranch! Not a trace of swag to be found!”
“I simply refuse to shave my neck, so would you please be so kind as to pass Le Upboats, M’Lady?”
“In this moment, I am enlightened, not because of the blessings of some phony magical sky fairy, but because of the inexhaustible, euphoric and mighty depths of Le Neckbeard Vampire!”
- Published on: 2015-06-23
- Released on: 2015-06-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
but I love where the author was going
By Lawrence D. Cannon
There were some typos and stuff, but I love where the author was going. I expected to laugh at a quick, shallow parody of neckbeard stereotypes; "miladies" and "ponies", but the characters - even the neckbeards - were three-dimensional and complex. The writer is gifted in writing suspense and surprises and that makes the humor even better. I'd feel like I was reading some mystery or super-natural novel, only to be brought back by a nerd screaming about being "friendzoned". It was great.
I also love the way that the writer looks at friendzoning and the red pill, and in general how nerds relate to women; the nerds in question are actually written sympathetically, as the author describes having been like them at one point, but the book also points out the flaws in their logic. I can't give anything away, but I do encourage you to read it for yourself.
It could use some polishing and some wording is confusing. I would encourage the author to proofread multiple times in future writings, but the story, atmosphere, and characters are spot-on.
This book was good, and maybe if I forward it to m'lady she'll take the hint and be m'waifu! ;)
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Note: neckbeard culture is nauseating.
By Caiti
There were a lot of editorial errors, and some unintentionally fragmented sentences, and a lot of mistakes that seem like they could have been avoided with an extra read-through, though it is not clear whether or not the author's first language is English so I can let some of that slide. The author also seems to be somewhat undecided on the "neckbeard" culture, portraying it as sympathetic and deplorable by turns, giving a fair amount of "screentime" to tirades about how "all women are like that", while still having other characters refer to such statements as misogynistic. There are threads that are put in but never really picked up on, and things that seem rather hastily put together, like the author just turned in a first draft.
Even despite these flaws, I found myself genuinely enjoying it, and wanting to keep reading. A revised edition may do better.
A more detailed review can be found at opinionated-cheapskate.tumblr.com
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Aknaska
Really entertaining and surprisingly funny. The characters were well-rounded and not at all what I expected. Five stars!
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